Mayor Grisham Signs Off On "Lincoln's Revenge" Library Repairs

By Duff Dillinger

After almost two weeks of heated debate, Mayor Grisham has finally agreed to use public funds to repair the East Wing of the King Falls Public Library. The library was damaged during an on-air "stunt" gone awry, when King Falls AM's Ben Arnold was hosting a duo of popular television presenters, Larry & Dan, from the show Mission: Apparition.

"The Mayor keeps calling this a stunt, but if he didn't have his head ... where it didn't belong, he could listen to the playback and realize that Ben, Ms. Emily Potter, Dan & Larry from Mission: Apparition were attacked. By spirits." said late-night talk show host, and paranormal skeptic, Sammy Stevens.

During an on-air interview November 15th, local librarian Emily Potter says she witnessed the spirit of presidential assassin, John Wilkes Booth lift her "good friend Ben" up into the air "at least ten feet" while choking him before throwing him down and flying away from fellow apparition, former President Abraham Lincoln. While the incident happened live and uninterrupted on King Falls AM, the video of the attack, taken by Larry of Mission: Apparition, was destroyed during an exchange of ghost gatling gunfire as the television team hurried from the building.

Though Dan & Larry couldn't be reached for an official comment, a representative from Spook TV says they will speak at length about their experience in King Falls in a future episode of the show. The popular hosts were in town for an interview and investigation of the King Falls Public Library upon the request of Sammy & Ben.

Ben Arnold defended himself today through text, saying "I could have shown them any number of paranormal places in town, you guys know, but of course I would take them to the King Falls Library. Where else are you going to run into the apparition of not only the 16th President of The United States but also his assassin! This wasn't about impressing my girlfriend. Not that Emily is my girlfriend. I mean, she's a girl, that's happens to be a friend. A good friend. You know what I'm saying. Don't quote this!"

Not everyone has taken the damage, which is said to be in the thousands of dollars, as lightly as the possibly love-struck co-host.

"Look, these morons are let loose on our fair town and they leave a trail of havoc every step of the way. I don't believe that our taxpayer's hard-earned money should go to picking up their tab. However, I can't see punishing the townspeople by keeping the East Wing of the library in disarray while these chuckleheads have to do a Kickstarter to cleanup ghost bullets." Mayor Grisham exclaimed on the steps of city hall.

While there has been no love lost between the hosts at King Falls AM and the Mayor, Grisham states "I couldn't let the faults of a few, hurt the needs of the many" and signed off on repairs that will fix the damaged walls, tables and books from what locals are dubbing "Lincoln's Revenge".

The library is set to reopen to the public Monday November 30th, after the long holiday weekend.


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