Activity at Sir Putts-A-Lott?

By Duff Dillinger

King Falls Gazette Reader C. Higgenbaum writes:

"Since all high and mighty Billy Lawrence is too good to answer phone calls, I thought I'd write in to the Gazette to see if you had noticed all the activity around the decrepit and creepy Sir Putts-A-Lott mini golf course the last few weeks. I feel something is up and I'd just love to take my boys there again some day! Thanks a lot."

Hi C.,

You're not the only one that has noticed a bit of a commotion over at ol' Sir Putts-A-Lott. So we thought we'd give Mr. William Lawrence, owner of the King Falls family favorite, a call and see if he had some good news to tell us. Unfortunately, if you know Mr. Lawrence, good news is not his fortee.

"It really ain't nobody's business what I do with that property. I'm getting up there in age and I'm just tired of going over to Sir Putts-A-Lott every time some kids sneak over and fornicate on the 7th hole." grumbled Mr. Lawrence during our phone conversation.

"I'm a professional. I deserve better. The course deserves better than these damn kiddos jumpin' fences and spraypaintin' and lollygaggin. This course was once a Top Ten "Gotta Play It" in Mini Golf Monthly, it should be put up on a pedestal not collecting bodily fluids, so yeah, I'm selling this son of a bitch and I'm retiring up to Big Pine."

While we don't know who has purchased the land, nor if it will stay in it's current state, we do hope that the sweet memories of our favorite childhood Putt Putt place get to live on. Just hopefully not as another Starbucks, c'mon already!


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